TeeScapades: The Things About Holiday Coaching (1)

by Tayo Fasuan

As far as I could remember, the opposite sex have always held an attraction to me. In fact, I wonder if there has been a time when I wasn’t having an issue to do with them at all. Being raised with only brothers –four of them – and having gone to an all-boys school kinda did that to me, I guess. So, you can’t blame me; my environment made me.

So where I do start this? Let me take you to the very first girl that I really liked and had a crush on. (Don’t blame me later if I remember another one earlier than her; my memory might be deceiving me). I was in JSS 3, and she was attending a holiday coaching I was attending too back then. I can’t remember her name, but I’ll call her Tola, because that’s what I would be doing in this series: providing fictional names for my female characters so they won’t sue me.

Tola was unique; even up till now, there isn’t no one like her. She had the largest pair of eyes I had ever seen till date; eyes were so big they took some substantial space on her face like those Disney female characters. However, while other boys were using those eyes to mock her as one of our weapons in boys-girls fight, I strangely couldn’t. I was smitten by her, but I couldn’t tell her. Why? Perhaps because she was brilliant, or because those eyes wrecked havoc on my nerves. It had to be her brilliance during those lessons. As for me, I hadn’t decided whether I should be brilliant back then.

She was also strangely quiet and a bit detached, and seemed to be reluctant in sticking with other girls to fight or insult us. Of course, we didn’t care generally; every girl in that coaching centre was a perceived enemy back then, and we had to attack. However, whenever I dared looking over at her, and she looked at me too with so much emotions in those big eyes, I would end up with a scrambled brain and look away to minimise their effects on my weak mind.

Thinking back now, I think that was the beginning of my obsession with any girl with pretty and lovely eyes. I have weakness for them.

Yet, despite all these, I couldn’t talk to her nor make any move to make my feelings toward her known.

Matter would take a new turn though when the quarrel between the boys and girls camp finally broke out and turned physical. The leader of the girl’s pack, one light-complexioned girl with a nasty mouth had verbally attacked a boy to provocation level, and the boy’s attempt to give her a slap resulted in the coaching centre’s owner to seriously read us the riot act. He was very particularly harsh toward the boy’s camp, lampooning us for dare to raise our hands on girls. That was it! There and then, we planned our revenge: we were going to waylay them along the street and beat them.

We planned for like a week, and during this period, the girls were having upper hands, regularly making fun of us, though our silence and the evil eyes we gave them seemed to tell them that danger lurked ahead. The yellow witch preemptively told the centre’s owner that we were planning to beat them, a claim we vehemently denied. But the man would make sure that we boys left school before accompanying the girls to some safe distance.

Having observed and mastered the man’s routine for nearly a week, we struck. We already figured out their paths, and how they moved, so it was easy to wait for them in a place they wouldn’t be able to escape. A friend of mine, Deji, and I were the main protagonist in this guerrilla warfare, and we were able to corner them behind a church – The Apostolic Faith Church at Adebayo, Ado-Ekiti. I remember this one precisely: Deji was to wait in the front-end of the street, while I attacked from the back-end, knowing fully well they would run forward when I appeared, and Deji would be waiting in the front. You can’t beat our Marine and Ranger’s formation.

As I suddenly appeared behind the girls, having allowed them to move into the street properly, potentially boxing them into our strategic location, they expectedly started running, screaming wildly. I tried holding the one nearest to me, who had incidentally tripped when she wanted to take flight, and she turned out to be my crush.

What the…?

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